August 1, 2017

Modern Motherhood: On Self-Care and Financial Planning

Modern Motherhood: On Self-Care and Financial Planning
Being a mother to a four-year-old is a beautiful mess. I work nine hours a day, five days a week. I take him to school every morning and put him to sleep every night. And every weekend, my partner comes home to spend time with us (we don't live together since we're not married yet). That has been our routine ever since. We try our best to make the most out of our weekends but there are just some times that we can't help but commit to important engagements. At first, I would always feel guilty whenever I have commitments on weekends because I always think that my mom would get mad. Weekends are all we have to spend with Zayn and yet, we're off to some other activities instead. But as time went by, I urged myself to believe that I deserve it. Because we, mothers, need some "me" time too to regain our sanity and balance.

Modern Motherhood: On Self-Care and Financial Planning

Last week, I attended the Mom's Day Out event hosted by Sun Life. It was an event dedicated to us, mothers, to inspire us about financial freedom and motivate us to take care of ourselves even more. It was actually just a short talk and throughout the event, I can't help but silently nod to almost everything that was said by the speakers. I have acquired so much that day but the two major lessons I have learned are practicing two things: Self-Care and Financial Planning.

Practicing Self-Care

When I gave birth on February 2013, I honestly had no idea what to do next. The only thing that went in my mind was to take care of Zayn. I was a hands-on mom for a month. After Zayn was baptized, I decided to look for a job to help Sheen with the expenses. I did not want to be a burden to him and my family. April 2013 when I landed my first job. June 2013, I went back to school to finish my final semester. I was working, studying, and fulfilling my mama duties all at the same time. Those days were the most chaotic in my life. September 2013, I quit my job and focused on my thesis. October 2013 when I finally graduated. I was a full-time mom again. November 2013, I went on another job search. December 2013, I landed a new job and I'm still on it up to this day.

Back then, I would decline team building activities and team outings because I was scared my mom would get mad with me going out. I was at home as much as possible during weekends. When my travel blog started "blooming", I'd get event invites and eventually managed to ask permission to get out during weekends. But I always had this guilty feeling whenever I'm out enjoying while Zayn is left at home and my mom taking care of him. I have always worried about how people would easily judge me just by getting out by myself when instead I should be taking care of my son. Because that's what mothers should really do, right?

This was the absolute reason that I decided to create Off-Duty Mama. I wanted to tell my fellow moms that "hey, it's okay to take a breather every once in a while!". Because after all the hard work and the stress, every mom like me ultimately deserves a day off, a rest day. We need breathers so we can renew ourselves and regain our sanity (being a mom can make us lose our minds especially with a toddler!). Even as simple as giving ourselves extra 10 minutes in the shower, choosing sleep over cleaning, and spending for a facial or whole body massage can give us the much needed pause that we need.

We moms need to remember that we need to take care of ourselves more so we can take care of our family even better.

Practicing Financial Planning

When you start building a family, the expenses grow bigger and bigger. And expenses are MAJOR headaches to me. Living with my parents can be beneficial (since I don't have to pay for rent) but it has disadvantages too. Ever since I started working, the groceries has been one of my major responsibilities at home. Imagine all my expenses: groceries, mom's share, and Zayn's needs. And last 2014, Sheen and I decided to buy a townhouse unit where we can live after we get married, so we've got equity and PAGIBIG loan bills too. And last year, I got a postpaid plan as well. This is why I live paycheck to paycheck. But at least, I still get to eat at least twice a day and provide for Zayn.

During the event, planning for the future financially was emphasized. I listened carefully because really, being financially able is very important when you have a family. I made mental notes on everything that was discussed. I wanted to provide Zayn a secure future. We may not afford an insurance plan right now, but I'm really interested in getting Zayn Sun Life's MyFuture Fund soon.

If you want to know more about MyFuture Fund, visit
P.S. Just in case you haven't seen them yet. Here are my boys, my life.

Modern Motherhood: On Self-Care and Financial Planning

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